What is psychedelic integration?

As a member of the Institute of Psychedelic Therapy I work with those wishing to explore experiences they may have had in and after expanded states of consciousness. This could have been through: breathwork; entheogens, such as ayahuasca, San Pedro, mushrooms, bufo, hapé, cacao, iboga and kambo; or compounds including LSD, MDMA, psilocybin and 5meO-DMT. I co-create a safe space with clients so they can make meaning of their experiences and be witnessed in the processing of their journey with psychedelics. A place where emotions and thoughts can be expressed and integrated into the body and life.

My experience with psychedelics

An insight into an experience I had with psilocybin-assisted therapy. I travelled to the Netherlands to attend a legal psilocybin assisted therapeutic retreat with Earth Awareness (pictured). Psilocybin is the active agent found in ‘magic mushrooms’, which can take the user into an altered state of consciousness. While the UK is still in the process of legalising such substances for these uses, such retreats and programs are now quite commonplace in the Netherlands.

Over the course of five days I attended a program of breathwork, intentional dance, Tai Chi, group sharing and two psilocybin ceremonies. The use of ritual and ceremony in a group setting creates a powerful container for the psychological and physiological effects of taking psilocybin. Being in an altered state, I found that I quickly had access to unconscious material, which I could look at without defence mechanisms or trauma responses being activated.

This material showed me my role as a therapist and I saw clearly how my shadow around being valued as a ‘helper’ was affecting me and the therapeutic space. I was suddenly aware of how much I was trying to carry my clients and the huge amount of energy this was taking from me.

In the breathwork session, used to integrate insights that had arisen during the psilocybin ceremony, I was able to link this very clearly to the role I played in my family system of holding emotions for my mother due to a bereavement. These early childhood patterns around my mother was a subject that I had touched on in talking therapy with my therapist and was now clear to me.

Why did I explore psilocybin-assisted therapy? 

I had been interested in the conversations around psilocybin for a while as the clinical data and reported experiences of taking psilocybin were compelling. Most recently, researchers at the Centre for Psychedelic Research at Imperial College London found that depression reduced more quickly in those who had two sessions of psilocybin therapy and were greater in magnitude than those who had a six-week course of a leading antidepressant.

 I was curious about this powerful natural substance, any self-knowledge it would bring and how that could help me as a practitioner. I had also received enquiries from clients in Berlin who wanted help integrating experiences they’d had during altered states of consciousness.

When taking a substance such as psilocybin, mindset and physical setting are crucial for safety so it was important for me to be with respected and experienced facilitators who were working with psilocybin within a legal framework. While some attended with specific intentions in mind such as to help with depression, OCD and abuse, mine was to be open to the experience and any awareness that came from it.

In the United States, Oregon and Michigan have already decriminalised psilocybin and last year the UK government said it was open to considering legalising the substance after considering the clinical evidence. Awakn Life Sciences centre in Bristol, supported by Professor David Nutt as chief research officer, is already using ketamine and MDMA to help with addiction. I imagine soon the UK will offer clinical treatments using this powerful therapeutic substance, so I’m glad to have experience of its therapeutic effects.

How have these insights helped me?

This was such a huge turning point in my practice in terms of being aware of myself as Carl Jung’s ‘wounded healer’ archetype rather than acting from my own wounds around care-taking and rescuing.

While being in an altered state, I saw in my mind’s eye and felt clearly in my heart how valuable the role was of simply being alongside the other and that it wasn’t necessary or helpful to try and take on the pain of another as I had unconsciously done for my mother. Having these reflections while being in the ceremonial group setting showed me experientially how I could be alongside others in their suffering and hold space rather than merging with or being consumed by the other.

Even though this idea of ‘being’ rather than ‘rescuing’ is something I had been taught on my training, reflected on with supervisors, discussed in therapy and read about on a theoretical level, looking back, I could see how my ‘false self’ (Donald Winnicott) role as ‘helper’ or to use the Stephen Karpman’s Drama Triangle ‘rescuer’, had been activated in my client work and personal relationships.

In Love’s Executioner, Irvin Yalom describes being with clients as, ‘Even though you're alone in your boat, it's always comforting to see the lights of the other boats bobbing nearby.’ To continue the metaphor, I felt the value in this rather than trying to steer someone’s boat for them.

Following this experience, I have now worked with clients who have had psychedelic experiences and struggle to make meaning of them and integrate them into their lives. I find that having a lived experience of this sometimes-challenging altered state of consciousness useful in terms of holding both a clinical and empathetic stance whilst relating to another’s overwhelming and confusing experiences.